i dont understand
i want it to stoppppppp
i keep going into these fits of laughter
and then i start crying and i cant breathe
then i go numb
and then it all starts over again!
just fucking choke me now.
for christs sake i dont know what to do
i literally have no idea
Singing in a moving car, singing to keep from crying, singing to keep from screaming, singing to keep from passing out or throwing yourself on the ground & asking god to take you, your finished.
Ive let go of so much stuff in the past week.
Some of those things i didnt want to let go....
But i really have no idea why im no longer friends with my
"best friend forever"
I realize, that im not going to plant my life around people anymore
Forever IS real, & im not going to let anyone make me doubt that
People are the reason things dont work out.
Petty differences & such.
Im not ready for anymore "best friends" for a while.
Its a bit pointless at this point.
Other things have happened to me
in the past few days,
that made me feel so good
just to let it out.
& now i see
that i was INDEED CORRECT in my assumption
of someone : )
Which is good.
Things are pretty good.
Still boring as fuck
but that'll change over summer,
or when i start school..
I dont know something good's going to happen eventually
I have gained a good chunk of optimism from these "experiences"
& im glad im sick of having negative views on everything without atleast having a taste of something good that could possibly turn out of it.
I believe in soul mates, they could be friends
or significant others.
& i'll find both of them.
Because i have seen fate
play itself out.
& i dont want to be brought down from where i am
not by anyone,
i dont cry everynight anymore
I dont want to cry when i look at the sky
or watch my old favorite tv shows.
I can stay up longer without needing so much sleep
I have less concerns...
Yeah, im failing school. Horribly.
But to me it doesnt matter! HAha
whatever happens with school, is going to happen no matter what
I know im pretty smart, atleast enough to get by
one shitty year wont kill me.
Im happy for now. <3
I ONLY USE TO THIS JOURNAL TO WHINE, COMPLAIN, BITCH, & MOAN. & TO POST MEME'S OR SURVEYS. NO, I DONT POST ICONS, NO I DONT USE CHAT SPEAK, NO I WONT GIVE YOU MY EMAIL, AIM, MSN, OR CELL NUMBER.